Curls, curls, curls

Conor is getting an attitude.

A cute, adorable, and frustrating attitude. It took me 15 minutes to put on and tie his shoes this am, followed by another 10 minute showcase showdown getting on his jacket. If he wasn't so cute and loving, I would put him out on the street. I think the curls make me keep him.

His is also beginning to communicate more and more. He isn't much of a talker nor does he mimic sounds. I like to think of him as the strong and silent type (think John Wayne or Marlon Brando). He knows animals, colors, and objects but his words and voice are so amazing. I do think he called me "bad" today, then called me "noda".

It is funny how my birthday is cool and all, but he is way more important to me. I was more excited about his first real cake experience, than blowing out the candles on my cake or presents.

Oops...a nap is over!

"And in my 29th year...

...I was dragged kicking and screaming into the light" - ETID

I am almost 29, one year away from 30. This year I want to set goals for myself and see where I am when I hit the BIG 3-0 in 2011. Without further rambling...

1. END MY FRACKING WEIGHT ISSUES. Seriously so done with having a crap view of myself. I base way to much on the numbers I see on the scale. All weight is is mass x gravity right? Such a simple mathematical equation has bogged me down since I was 10. I remember being 10 and thinking I was fat (I had started my female development a little early) and going on a starvation diet. 10! That is ridiculous. I remember in high school swimming two hours in the morning, eating a light yogurt for breakfast, skipping lunch for Diet Coke, swimming two hours in the afternoon, lifting weights for an hour, going home and pretending I wasn't that hungry. Really Lauren? Really? I just want to feel nice at any weight and not cry at the mirror.

2. Maintain exercising. I do really well for a month or two and then it slowly crumbles. I actually like jogging and want to try some new sports and fitness classes.

3. Learn to love swimming again. I used to be excited to wake up at 500 am to get to the pool to swim. I used to feel weird when I didn't swim for 2-3 days. I wish I still loved it, it was part of me for so long that I feel like I still should.

4. Help Stephen get healthy. I don't want to lose my husband to an MI, pancreatic CA, lung CA, or has his mind ravaged by a stroke. I want to see him take care of himself for Conor. I don't mean he needs to quit smoking ASAP. I know he wants to, and I will support him when he is ready. I want him to show the world what a good-looking guy he is. I will accept stinky feet though as Vans ARE NOT MEANT TO BE WORN WITH SOCKS (slight pet peeve).

5. I want to love Conor more. I don't think that will be hard because he is fracking adorable and is the light of my life.



6. Find a job that I am good at and love in Charleston, SC. I want to move back to Dallas so badly, but we can't yet. We would be taking even more advantage of my parents generosity if we tried to sell now. It would be selfish.

7. Pick up one piece of trash per day. I do this already, but I like to keep reminding myself to do it.

8. Be more accepting of popular music. I want to understand why people love the stuff played on the radio. I want to sing at the top of my lungs in my car when a song comes on the radio. I can't really sing to hardcore and their is NO WAY IN HADES I am trying to scream. The only time that is acceptable is in the search for Sprite Remix Slurpee and when Cross Out the Eyes by Thursday is on repeat.

9. GO TO THE BEACH. We live in Charleston, SC near the ocean. We need to take advantage of that. Maybe if I like swimming again, I will like the beach again.

10. Finish my right arm, totally sleeved, totally awesome. I want to be done with getting tattooed soon. It hurts, and I am getting to old and whiny.

The cheers for M-O-M

I am so glad my mom is here today. My mom is incredible, bald, beautiful, little, amazing, exuberant, and alive. Just seeing her puts me at such ease; it makes my doomie-gloomies go away. I am so thankful for her, even if her visits mean needles, medicines, and fear. Plus, she made me birthday cake and brought amazing presents. I love her. We had the most amazing walk with Tubby today, something that I am going to treasure for a long time. Right now, she is playing her Nintendo DS and smiling so big. She is so beautiful and amazing. I hope I don't take her love for granted, she gives it so willingly. I can only hope to be 1/2 the mom she is. I don't want to be a better parent or give Conor a better life than I have. I had an amazing one. It was incredible. I was and am still lucky.

Back on the horse.

Well, I am going to start this again. It made me happy. Happy is good. Happy is so 2010. It is just to bad I really have nothing to say right now. Shinfo? Yes. Out of character? Not really. I can't wait for my baby and my hubby to get back from the store. Conor is so much fun right now. He is loud, crazy, and adorable. I snuck into his room last night and had the sweetest, sleepiest snuggle with the boy. Made me smile. So did this quote....

"If you work hard and are kind, amazing things will happen" - Conan O'Brien

I think I am going to live this. Sounds easy enough...