Sevens

I fit into my favorite jeans! I weigh 155.8! I feel amazing!

I cannot believe how different I feel with almost 10 pounds gone. It is rad. Really rad. Really, really rad. This post is dumb for being the first one I have posted in awhile.

Oh well, it's my blog and I do what I want :)

Not Michael Phelps

The official first week weigh in...158.6!!!

I am stoked and am feeling great. 8.6 pounds to pre-pregnancy weight and that seems so reasonable. I am bouncing between feeling great and still feeling gross. It has been a month since I started jogging, and yesterday I started swimming. I thinking I burn more calories dreading and hating the fact that I am swimming than I do actually swimming.

I swam 2500 yards yesterday in 32 minutes, I think that is pretty good. I have to swim with fins or else my left arm feels like someone is stabbing it repeatedly. I really hate swimming, really hate it. I was pushed and pushed to compete and to be the best. 4 hours in the pool a day and 1+ hour of strength training a day from the time I was 11. I used to love it. Then I got to high school and spent every lap, everyday in the pool hating what I was doing...

I was recruited by SMU but instead I quit swimming and got fat by eating what I wanted and not working out. I don't regret that decision at all. I used to count every calorie I ate, denied cravings, and ended up getting really sick. I would chew gum instead of eat food, I would hide food in my napkin, and I wouldn't drink anything for fear of bloating.

Wow, that sucked. I think this is why I have such weight issues. Or maybe just issues.

Man...I really hate swimming...

Selflessness on MTV

Yesterday while watching cable television (still shocked we have it again), I really got into an MTV True Life episode. It was about giving a baby up for adoption. One of the stories was so incredible and heartwarming while the other was so sad...

The happy, fuzzy story was about a 19 year-old who got pregnant while on drugs. During the pregnancy she sobered up and got her life together. She didn't want her daughter to have any disadvantage so she decided on an open adoption with a stable family (her second cousins). After delivery it took her every bit of strength to do what she felt was right for her daughter, while knowing it was wrong for her. The adoptive parents were so kind and understanding, and she had such incredible support from the adoptive services and social worker they used. Fast forward to post-adoption. She is still sober, she is getting her GED and going to college, and she lovingly pumps breastmilk for her daughter.

Pumping truly is a labor of love, as is breastfeeding. It isn't always serene and definitely isn't always easy. Yet, this young teenage mom was doing what was best for her daughter. I pumped for Conor and hated every minute of it. But, I got to see him and nurse him after work. She pumps without that reward. She selflessly donates milk to a child that is no longer hers. I am so amazed and awed by her.

Needless to say I was in happy girl tears about that.

The other girl was selfish and quit. She wrote off her child even though she decided not to give it up for adoption. Having a baby is really, really, really hard and often I want a break. Yet, I trudge through and provide for my baby because he is the greatest miracle I know of. She was selfish and said she couldn't do it right now. I wanted to punch her in the face. Luckily, the baby had a good father and a supportive family.

I'm hungry

Conor is learning new things everyday and it amazes me.

He has also started carrying a blanket around. He also was running around sans diaper (change from Hades this am) with his hands in the air shaking his head no. He also will hook his thumbs in his diaper and turn ever so slyly to look over his shoulder...I hope this kid isn't a model.

He now says "buh" when he waves bye, "hida" when he waves hi, and knows what "nana" means. And that kid loves his 'nanas. Enough Conor...

I am ahead in school, behind in organization, and actually losing the weight I want to. Too bad my tummy is rumbling all the time. But, tomorrow is a cheat meal and it is going to be Mexican. Mexican food in Charleston is pretty good, not Texas good but I can live with what we have. I just wish we had a Chipotle here. I know that isn't Tex-Mex or authentic Mexican, but it is soo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o good.

Another strike on Charleston, no Chipotle. Chipotle is a restaurant I would drive upwards of 300 miles for, I like it that much. Toronto has one, why not Charleston?

Must stop thinking about food and baby...

Blahrg...

I've got nothing to say.

I've got nothing to say-ya-yay-yay.

Thanks you The Strokes for this lovely song. That is all.

So many channels.

We got cable again, and a dog followed me home. What a morning!

I feel somewhat wrong for getting cable again, but we were spending more on DVDs than on the cable itself. Oh well. That means Deadliest Catch!!

We are going to a friends house for a gumbo feast (for the low, low price of $3.59) and have decided to make a cajun pizza. We are taking a delicious cheese pizza from Walmart and topping it with okra, andouille, and delicious spices.

Point being, I want to get more creative in the kitchen. Whose with me.

Trucks and stuff

I am under 160 pounds for the first time since getting pregnant! I can pull up my pre-pregnancy jeans and button them without too much muffin top!

YIPPEE!

To celebrate I will enjoy a strawberry and nutella crepe from the Farmer's Market and a delicious cup of coffee.

9.8 pounds to pre-baby weight. Sweet

Conor is pushing his big car around me right now making car noises. This day is starting off well :)

The toddler years

Conor is the best thing going right now.

This curly-headed little moppet has rekindled my complete joy of everything. He does toddlerhood well. He does it with gusto, with amazement, and with belly slaps. I only hope I didn't take the toddler years for granted.

He relishes every single moment of everything. From peanut butter toast to walking it is 100% amazing 100% of the time.

He is discovering words and his voice right now and it is babble and word repetition nonstop. It still tugs at my heart when he says mama, I hope that never gets old. He is also quite the waver, and I really think he puts the grumpy adults in line at Starbucks into a better mood.

Although, he could be waving to mock them...Ha suckers! While you go sit in an office for 8 hours I am going home to eat bananas and blueberries and play with toys...

And food. I love making food for this kid! It is nice to know I am shaping a healthy eating habit full of interesting flavors and textures. I am really mindful of the quality of food, but am willing to compromise at ice cream. He savors or wears every morsel of food with such enthusiasm.

Hmm...maybe I should market the baby diet and make bank.

Okay, okay. I love my baby so much and could talk about him for hours, type about him for days...I need to put my MacBook down.

The sleepless nights of the past are worth this moment right now.

All Quiet on the Western Front.

It is funny how a change in the weather can make me feel differently. I am starting to feel like myself again. A slightly annoying know-it-all, kind of awkward, and completely sincere. I want to be outside and doing things, not locked up in my house with only close family and friends. I feel like me, but with this amazing curly headed dude to call my own. It has been too long...

Complete 180...or maybe a kickflip...some rad trick that I could never accomplish without severe bone breakage.

Things I want in next locale we move

- Great school system (either public or private)
- Good friends
- Reasonable real estate prices for a decent sized 4 bedroom/3.5 bath home
- Character
- Great hospital system, and primarily a teaching environment
- Mass transportation
- Chipotle
- Ikea
- Great restaurants (Charleston has spoiled me rotten)
- Good hardcore and punk scene so I can see my favorite bands
- Good weather. Mainly an awesome fall and spring.
- Great outdoor activities and sports for a vary rambunctious Conor
- Good art scene
- NHL team
- Independent coffee shop
- Large airport so proximity to family is not much of an issue
- Cows. I really miss seeing cows as I drive. That and oil derricks. I miss those so much.

Is this asking too much?

BROWN (not black) Widows.

Another creepy, icky, total CON for Charleston is our BROWN WIDOW problem. Brown widows are just like black widows but their egg sacks are even creepier because they are SPIKED! They are all over our house, outside thankfully, but Stephen and I go brown widow hunting with a blow torch! A blow torch!

Yuck! Times 3234150506.

Help me out!

Here is my train of thought for the potential of moving after graduation. To preface this, background is needed.

We own a home in Charleston in an area great for us but will take a specific buyer. The market is hit hard right now, but not horribly in Charleston. We would more than likely rent for a year, then decide. So house is one strike to moving in the near future.

I will be the last to graduate from the MUSC master of science nursing, before it switches completely to its baby the doctor of nursing practice (DNP) program. 18 will graduate the May before my August. This means jobs will be virtually impossible to find. MUSC is physician assistant (PA) heavy as well. I really want a progressive environment where the nurse practitioner (NP) is considered vital to the health care industry. I also want a job to be available that is not a 2-3 hour drive for me. I honestly dislike nursing in SC, I feel it is slightly arcane.

Charleston Pro
- Friends. We have amazing friends here
- Family. My mom who is undergoing aggressive chemotherapy is 2 hours away. This is vital to me, she is my mommy and I want to be with her during her last moments; I do not want to be delayed in an airport.
- Current job security. I still could work as a floor nurse until time to move.
- Relative small size of Charleston. My commute takes 10 minutes
- Beach
- Jogging path
- King Street and 52.5 records
- The Diner
- MOE'S (Tavern not Mexican)
- Jason tattoos

Charleston Con
- Drivers. I cannot stand driving in Charleston. I fear for an accident everyday, it drives me insane. I am dumbfounded by the lack of consideration
- Rudeness. People give me the stink eye much more often here than anywhere else I have ever been. I am followed around stores more often, and am tired of the disgusted looks
- Racial tension and "newness" of gangs. I am so tired of racism and prejudice
- Flooding
- HUMIDITY. I think it is more miserable in Charleston during the summer
- Lack of change. While I appreciate history and preservation, progression is key to continued growth and success.
- Street signs. They are either hard to see, missing, or bent. They also do not tell you what block you are on.
- Lack of music. Charleston is a musical city, just not my flavor of music.
- Dr. Pepper expense. I am a Texas girl, and while I do not drink soda often I have a hard time paying $6 for a six-pack
- Awful public education. I would send Conor to private school, and even then those sometimes are not much better
- Hurricanes. It could wipe out my house and family, and is not covered 100% by insurance.
- Smallness. Everybody is up in everybody else's junk, and it is weird.

That is all I can think of right now and dinner is ready. Please help with ideas of where to live, good stuff about cities, and anything else.

To be continued...

I feel so gross

I have the work-out part of my life sinking in again. I am building up stamina, and realizing I miss the feeling of being healthy. Now, I just need to get the food part. I am debating Weight Watchers, but that is just expensive, I have SparkPeople, but that is just annoying, and I cannot do the write down everything I eat because I will stop eating.

I feel so gross in my skin, and I cannot blame my extra weight on baby anymore. I know I have lost, August 18th of last year my weight was 228 including a large baby boy. I am now 162-164ish. 64 pounds in a year isn't too shabby, but I want my pre-pregnancy body back, and I really want it now. My favorite jeans are taunting me, and the jeans I have now are ugly and don't fit well.

I want my meeting Stephen body back. Even though it was done through insane dieting, calorie counting, and working out, I felt amazing. For the first time in my life I felt attractive. And, well, it worked.

I just hate being impatient. 14 pounds to pre-pregnancy. 25 pounds to my goal. I am hoping to reach my goal before Christmas. Seems reasonable. 8 pounds a month. Bring on the jogging, swimming, EA active, and carrots.