Oh just imagine the ammo we'd save.
- Keith Buckley, ETID
- Keith Buckley, ETID
I have lived more life in the last 3 months, than in my other collective 28 years. My chest has been cracked and the bypass machine almost failed. Now I am left with a rotting, gaping suture line and an IV running 50% anxiety mixed with 25% self-doubt and 25% anger. No pill, no ointment, and no homeopathic treatment will fix-it.
The only remedy is thought, emotion, and cutting the rotting portions of my personality and life out with a rusty scalpel and a bag of Riesen chocolate chews.
I am extremely intolerant of the actions of others and even of my myself. Why do we pollute and ruin life in such inconceivable ways?
Today my family was at Sam's (I personally cannot stand the layout or aisle size of Sam's or Walmart, but do enjoy a good price on diapers). A lady rudely cut in front of us at the card greeter mumbling some "excuse" for her poor behavior. Inexcusable. Then I later wished diarrhea on her without toilet paper in a public restroom. Inexcusable and considerably disgusting (mind you I am an RN on a GI floor and a nurse practitioner student talks daily to elderly patients about those finer details of life).
Neither one of were right in the situation, but somehow my disgusting and poor thought was amenable in my brain. I act in a similar manner to "mainstream" mothers, "scenesters", "hipsters", and those "dude-bros" who think a tattooed girl with glasses equals a quick and dirty romp in the sack.
A mother who uses Baby Wise is an example. While I know it is "banned" (only good word I could think of) by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the dude was kicked out of his church, and it is detrimental to the breastfeeding relationship, I hate it more for the "mainstream" use of it. Pathetic. I should just be happy that I had the joy of breastfeeding my child and co-sleeping and get over what other mothers do. Maybe not though, this one is kind of fuzzy to me. More than anything the thought of letting a newborn infant cry so you can sleep is gross.
I think I am losing my steam and train of thought, that last example could have been better. Who really cares though. I am trying not to. I don't hate "scenesters" or "hipsters" (those skinny kids who think fashion before substance, look before material, you know walking American Apparel ads). I pretend to, I feel like I should sneer because I "know more" about the "scene" (What scene in Charleston? CHARLESTONIANS DO NOT SUPPORT MUSIC) and music than they ever could. Alas the predicament, the fact that they probably do actually enjoy the music. Who cares if you look the part, v-necks and skinny jeans aside, music is to be appreciated and loved by all.
And the dude-bros, especially those that pollute my usually quiet street at all hours of the night. Yes, the dude-bros with necks the size of trees, whose hypertension and obstructive sleep apnea will lead to early-onset ED (erectile dysfunction made popular by presidential hopeful Bob Dole) and problems urinating. They usually hold a door for you, will give up a seat, and buy you a drink. Of course they assume their actions will lead to their one thought "is she wearing black panties or none?". They are harmless, but annoying and I want to key their cars and roughly pull down their collars. I don't know where I am going with this one. I am so tired of my neighbor at 1129 Brody and her inconsiderate friends. Yelling doesn't work though. Neither do cops. Maybe brownies laced with Ex-Lax. Nope that is the old Lauren.
What I am trying to say is my well crafted sneer is just as bad as all these poorly typed examples. I need to be friendlier and more genuine. Maybe then I won't get so unbelievable annoyed at Walmart or my neighbor at 1129 Brody. Then again, maybe the world needs a superhero to sneer and explain the inherent contradiction of most actions.
Clear as mud. Great. Maybe I can rub Bactroban on my rotting soul. Wait, external use only.
Today my family was at Sam's (I personally cannot stand the layout or aisle size of Sam's or Walmart, but do enjoy a good price on diapers). A lady rudely cut in front of us at the card greeter mumbling some "excuse" for her poor behavior. Inexcusable. Then I later wished diarrhea on her without toilet paper in a public restroom. Inexcusable and considerably disgusting (mind you I am an RN on a GI floor and a nurse practitioner student talks daily to elderly patients about those finer details of life).
Neither one of were right in the situation, but somehow my disgusting and poor thought was amenable in my brain. I act in a similar manner to "mainstream" mothers, "scenesters", "hipsters", and those "dude-bros" who think a tattooed girl with glasses equals a quick and dirty romp in the sack.
A mother who uses Baby Wise is an example. While I know it is "banned" (only good word I could think of) by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the dude was kicked out of his church, and it is detrimental to the breastfeeding relationship, I hate it more for the "mainstream" use of it. Pathetic. I should just be happy that I had the joy of breastfeeding my child and co-sleeping and get over what other mothers do. Maybe not though, this one is kind of fuzzy to me. More than anything the thought of letting a newborn infant cry so you can sleep is gross.
I think I am losing my steam and train of thought, that last example could have been better. Who really cares though. I am trying not to. I don't hate "scenesters" or "hipsters" (those skinny kids who think fashion before substance, look before material, you know walking American Apparel ads). I pretend to, I feel like I should sneer because I "know more" about the "scene" (What scene in Charleston? CHARLESTONIANS DO NOT SUPPORT MUSIC) and music than they ever could. Alas the predicament, the fact that they probably do actually enjoy the music. Who cares if you look the part, v-necks and skinny jeans aside, music is to be appreciated and loved by all.
And the dude-bros, especially those that pollute my usually quiet street at all hours of the night. Yes, the dude-bros with necks the size of trees, whose hypertension and obstructive sleep apnea will lead to early-onset ED (erectile dysfunction made popular by presidential hopeful Bob Dole) and problems urinating. They usually hold a door for you, will give up a seat, and buy you a drink. Of course they assume their actions will lead to their one thought "is she wearing black panties or none?". They are harmless, but annoying and I want to key their cars and roughly pull down their collars. I don't know where I am going with this one. I am so tired of my neighbor at 1129 Brody and her inconsiderate friends. Yelling doesn't work though. Neither do cops. Maybe brownies laced with Ex-Lax. Nope that is the old Lauren.
What I am trying to say is my well crafted sneer is just as bad as all these poorly typed examples. I need to be friendlier and more genuine. Maybe then I won't get so unbelievable annoyed at Walmart or my neighbor at 1129 Brody. Then again, maybe the world needs a superhero to sneer and explain the inherent contradiction of most actions.
Clear as mud. Great. Maybe I can rub Bactroban on my rotting soul. Wait, external use only.
