Is there such thing as being happy-depressed? Epocrates says no. So does the American Psychiatric Association. What use are those anyways...
My mental-physical being is out of equilibrium currently. I think I am somaticizing as I tend to do: eat poorly, sleep poorly, not exercise, and have basic complaints. Case in point, headache for 3 weeks, stomach pain for 1 week, and pure annoyance for awhile now.
Yet, I am ridiculously happy. Conor is this adorable, precious, amazing, talking fool. He finally calls me mom (or mamom, or damom). Stephen and I are happy and building a relationship on mutual love, trust, and sacrifice. My relationship with my parents is extremely strong. My friends kick ass. So does my phone.
What gives? How can I be so-o-o-o sound mentally yet act like a crying fool? How can I treat my body like pure crap? I don't get it.
I feel better when I eat better. I feel better when I workout. I feel better when I laugh, which I do often now. I guess I need to punch myself in the face. Wish I could punch my brain and mood, those are what is holding me back. On second thought, maybe Cymbalta, Welbutrin, or Pristiq would be way better.
Stupid thoughts and feelings. Somedays I wish I could be a size 2, tan, dumb blonde. Most days I don't. I pretend to hate them instead.
Yet, I am ridiculously happy. Conor is this adorable, precious, amazing, talking fool. He finally calls me mom (or mamom, or damom). Stephen and I are happy and building a relationship on mutual love, trust, and sacrifice. My relationship with my parents is extremely strong. My friends kick ass. So does my phone.
What gives? How can I be so-o-o-o sound mentally yet act like a crying fool? How can I treat my body like pure crap? I don't get it.
I feel better when I eat better. I feel better when I workout. I feel better when I laugh, which I do often now. I guess I need to punch myself in the face. Wish I could punch my brain and mood, those are what is holding me back. On second thought, maybe Cymbalta, Welbutrin, or Pristiq would be way better.
Stupid thoughts and feelings. Somedays I wish I could be a size 2, tan, dumb blonde. Most days I don't. I pretend to hate them instead.
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