Lauren's Clinical Guidelines

Seasonal Allergies

1. Zyrtec (cetirizine) 10 mg 1 tab by mouth daily or Claritin (loratadine) 10 mg 1 tab by mouth daily
2. Neti-Pot or nasal saline wash daily. Start hypertonic as tolerated and progress to a neutral solution.
3. Flonase (fluticasone proprionate) 50 mcg 2 sprays each nostril daily (RX only)
4. Increase fluids as increasing water increasing expulsion of the junk
5. Benadryl 25 mg as needed for sleep.

Boy Problems

1. Grow a "proverbial pair"
   
2. Realize I am not the person to ask for advice
3. Don't choose based on: tattoos, hair color, music likes or dislikes, IPhone, or friends
4. Don't wait by the phone for the call that won't come

Breaking Caffeine Addiction

1. Go to Starbucks
2. Invariably piss off an employee you genuinely care about
3. Get decaf without realizing

The first one is a true guideline and one that I have prescribed to numerous people. The fun thing is you can play with the prescriptions and see how much the insurance companies love you for it.

The other two are for pure enjoyment.

I find it humorous I get asked love and dating advice. I never really dated. A few dates and "boyfriends" here and there, all dispensable due to inherent douchebaggery. Stephen is my only one, and the only person I have truly loved. It just happened.

The other guideline is just ridiculous. Those age 30 and less and petty fools who passive aggressiveness stems from impatience and a society of excess. We lost our decency. I get reminded every Tuesday and Wednesday what America used to be. We are missing out.

I don't want to miss out on the goodness of people.