"Uh-oh"

When you are Lauren, you are tired and grumpy all the time. You also can't complete a sentence without stuttering or mispronouncing words and are always on the verge of an ice cream meltdown.

You also care immensely about others and feel great personal guilt when things are not all happy and perfectly ordered.

I'm a fixer and a planner, but extremely artistic and inwardly disorganized. I follow the rules, even when driving, and put research and immense thought into all actions taken. But, that is all changing for me.

I can't fix and mend, can't be disorganized, and must think rationally and quickly. I am so tired of my anger at being used by others, so tired of selfless action, and so tired of getting cut off on the road, line, and life.

Enough of this self-loathing. It is time for quick action, self-protection, and a deliciously defiant GLASS OF KOOL-AID! Mmm...black cherry please.

At least Conor gets action and appreciates learning and thought. With a "whasthat" and a little chubby finger he learns and grows. Of course that little chubby finger is exploring nose gold which is hilarious and disgusting in the same moment.

This little man also is teaching me about trust. I know he trusts me when he grabs my hand to play, seeks comfort when he is crying, and gets so excited when I pick him up from his nap. I need to be more trusting and more loving like a 20 month old.

Wow, 20 months. And he still looks like a little cherub when he sleeps.