I am judgmental and I do struggle with things other moms and dads do. I run amok at the playground, swinging, sliding, and feeling the absolute freedom on innocence. I choose babysitters who love my child and have a better day when they watch Conor. I don't send my child to daycare. I understand the necessity of a two-earner household, and one day Conor will be a part of that household. I will either find a nanny or work part-time. If I can pay the bills and save a little, time with my child beats a career, car, house, or haircut (although close) at anytime.
What I don't get is the backlash against intuitive parenting. The absolute despise of breastfeeding, the abhor at babywearing, and the shock when you say "co-sleeping".
Breastfeeding as we know is the gold standard of infant nutrition. Formulas will never mimic nor can they say "resemble" the dynamic nature of human milk. Even one suck, one ounce, one day is better than nothing. Breastfeeding saves premature babies, can decrease risk potential in developing breast and ovarian cancer, and leads to positive development for the child.
Baby-wearing when done safely is so necessary with a refluxer. Conor had horrible GERD through about 6-9 months of life. I feel that breastfeeding and babywearing allowed him to gain weight and decrease my perception of his pain. Baby-wearing lets a mom get chores done around the house, it was great insulation and warmth in winter, and the slings, wraps, soft carriers are fun to shop for.
Co-sleeping does not cause death, and research must be done to assure a safe sleep environment. Co-sleeping was a life saver for a boy who woke up every 45 minutes to 2 hours screaming in pain from reflux. I miss Conor in our bed. In those early morning hours when the world is soft and asleep, seeing an infant in the course of REM sleep is life-changing. You realize the power and beauty of creation, the innocence still present in life, and the overpowering sensation of protection and desire for the best.
Parenting is full of options and compromise. When a parent does not compromise their selfish needs and desires is when you get an eye-roll from me.
My struggling family is learning how to become a team of like-minded individuals. We see the path, we see the goals, and we see the change and compromise necessary.
I'm not religious and wouldn't even say spiritual. But on an absolutely beautiful Easter Sunday it is hard not to feel a presence, a presence who advocated doing the perceived best and always adapting to love, truth, and beauty.
Conor one year ago today.
2 comments:
I feel just the same and the animosity baffles me!
I think there's a typo in your co-sleeping paragraph. Surely it should say that co-sleeping prevents death instead of causing it?
Thank-you for pointing that out!
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