Truth, Support, and Wisdom

..."and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free..." (John 8:32)

As I have told several, with the recent events I am hoping for divine inspiration, and the above quote (one of a handful I know) seems a perfect (if not cliche) foundation for this growth. Stephen finally admitted to me he was an alcoholic. He has hidden this and failed treatment from me for several years.

I am ashamed and stupid for not knowing. Ashamed for wearing blinders and trusted something as juvenile as a pinky promise.

I am so mad. Mad for my family being taken advantage of and for me looking like an absolute fool.

I am confused. Confused on love, trust, and faith.

I am hurt. Hurt for my family, friends, and child who have all been lied to.

Yet, I know I must move past my pain and emotions to provide support to Stephen. I can't be his wife right now, but I can be his friend. I don't know my feelings for him, and right now that is not what is important. I can help him through the worst of this horrible disease, learn how to be honest, and learn how to cope. Maybe in those steps I will find love again. Maybe Stephen will discover he is a good person, and while past actions cannot be changed who he decides to become can.

Maybe I will find wisdom to help others. Maybe I will finally become an adult.